


Love Me Better

by Mazarin221b



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Grief/Mourning, Love, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 20:42:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17372963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mazarin221b/pseuds/Mazarin221b
Summary: The slam of a car door snaps his attention into immediate, hypersensitive focus. He can see the yellow and green top of a cab and a glimpse of dark hair through the palms that dot his front yard, and once the cab drives away there, as if he'd stepped out of Blanca's thoughts, stands Yut-Lung, all slender, beautiful, five feet ten inches of him, his hair in a long plait down his back and mirrored sunglasses flashing in the afternoon light. Before Blanca can get up to go greet him and ask why he’s come all the way to Bermuda without warning, Yut-Lung strides down the brick walkway and right up to Blanca’s front porch, dragging his suitcase behind him.“Ash Lynx is dead,” he says without preamble. “And you’d better fuck me until I lose my mind.”





	Love Me Better

**Author's Note:**

> A quick emotional flurry of more grief porn. This fandom is a mess, yo.

Warm sun interrupted by the shade of his porch roof, an icy glass of mint tea, and a fresh sea breeze lifting the edges of his linen shirt and cooling his skin.

Really, Blanca's life in the islands was quite perfect. Too bad he’d promised Yut-Lung he'd go back to New York once the spring truly broke, when the apple trees had blossomed and the City creaked back to life after the vicious, stinging winter.

The slam of a car door snaps his attention into immediate, hypersensitive focus. He can see the yellow and green top of a cab and a glimpse of dark hair through the palms that dot his front yard, and once the cab drives away there, as if he'd stepped out of Blanca's thoughts, stands Yut-Lung, all slender, beautiful, five feet ten inches of him, his hair in a long plait down his back and mirrored sunglasses flashing in the afternoon light. Before Blanca can get up to go greet him and ask why he’s come all the way to Bermuda without warning, Yut-Lung strides down the brick walkway and right up to Blanca’s front porch, dragging his suitcase behind him.

“Ash Lynx is dead,” he says without preamble. “And you’d better fuck me until I _lose my mind_.”

…………………………………………………………………….

Blanca is many, many things to many, many people, but he’s not a fool. He takes Yut-Lung’s hand and drags him into the house before he wraps his arms around Yut-Lung to kiss him deep, with unmistakable intent, right there in the middle of his living room, a place Blanca has never shown to anyone in his professional life. He doesn’t ask how Yut-Lung found him, he doesn’t care if that means anyone else could as well. He simply picks Yut-Lung up and carries him to the bedroom and tosses him on the bed before stripping off his shirt, his mind twisting into dark shapes as he watches Yut-Lung do the same. Tendrils of grief are licking at his heart, threatening to consume him. He focuses instead on Yut-Lung as he pulls off his white trousers and strokes himself. He’s slightly thinner, definitely paler, and Blanca gives a millisecond thought as to when, and how, and why before his attention is brought back to Yut-Lung spreading his thighs and lightly tracing his hole with his fingertip.

“Need anything?”

“Just your dick, so if you wouldn’t mind not taking all day.”

Blanca can feel the hot thread of need, the desire to collapse into Yut-Lung’s body overtake his senses. He climbs on the bed and settles between those beautiful perfect thighs, sighing as their erections press against each other. It’s been only a matter of weeks since they last touched but it feels like a lifetime, and Blanca wants to gather Yut-Lung up in his arms and never let him leave his sight again.

“I need you, Blanca,” Yut-Lung whispers, and his eyes, dear god his eyes, Blanca could drown in their depths. “Please.”

“Of course,” Blanca replies, thumbing over Yut-Lung’s cheeks. “My lovely one. My own. Let me get you ready.”

Yut-Lung makes a greedy, frustrated sound as Blanca leans over to mess about in the bedside drawer until he finds the lube. It’s a bit old but still seems fine, and Blanca shivers as he strokes himself before turning back to Yut-Lung, who is lying on his back with his arm over his eyes. Blanca pauses.  
  
“How?” he asks.

“Stabbed, right outside the library.” Yut-Lung seems to crumple further against the bed. “It’s my fault, in the end.”

“Lao?” Blanca guesses, and by the way Yut-Lung twitches, he knows he’s right. “Spread your legs.”

Yut-Lung does so with a sigh, his arm falling away from his face. Tears sparkle in the corners of his eyes, and Blanca has no room for thoughts other than how to carefully, slowly, take him apart with fingers in his body and lips on the inside of his knee, until Yut-Lung keens and arches and finally, finally begs. The sheets slip to the floor as Blanca leans on his elbows and presses inside, Yut-Lung so tight and so hot it takes his breath away.

“You need to relax for me, my darling,” Blanca whispers against his ear and begins to thrust, each movement pushing a harsh breath from Yut-Lung’s body. His cock is rubbing against Blanca’s stomach, and Blanca can feel Yut-Lung’s fluttering heartbeat against his fingertips where he’s cradling Yut-Lung’s face in his hands. He’s so young and so strong, and if this is where he chooses to fall apart, almost a thousand miles away in the middle of the Atlantic, than Blanca will join him in the breakdown.

Blanca watches as Yut-Lung’s body begins to flush, his pale skin taking on a rosy hue as he sweats in the unfamiliar heat. Blanca takes the cue to lift up on his knees and hook Yut-Lung’s legs over his arms and fuck him for all he’s worth, the slick echo of skin on skin a counterpoint to Blanca’s own moans and Yut-Lung’s higher pitched cries. He wants to fuck Yut-Lung mindless, he wants to drown his own fear and grief in the hot wash of orgasm, and he watches Yut-Lung’s eyes widen as he sucks in a breath and comes, twitching and gasping, fluid dripping across his stomach and onto the sheets. He looks so incredibly debauched Blanca can’t hold back and the orgasm he’d been holding at bay crashes through his body in a long, rolling wave.

They collapse together, Blanca pulling carefully out of Yut-Lung’s body and settling into the bed, pulling Yut-Lung onto his chest as he does. Yut-Lung’s braid is frizzy and pieces are falling out around his face, and Blanca carefully smooths them away and tucks them behind his ear, a soothing, careful ministration that settles his own heart.  
  
“You hate me,” Yut-Lung says slowly, lips tickling Blanca’s skin. “Or, you will, when you have a minute to think about it.”

Ah, now he understands Yut-Lung’s rush. Blanca takes a deep breath, counts to three, and lets it out. “I won’t,” he says, and he even believes it. “Ash was a brilliant star that burned too hot and too bright, and it was only a matter of time before he burned out. Did you not tell Lao that the hit was off?”

“I did.”

“Then what happens next is not your doing. He chose his path and Ash chose his. I’m — I can’t say I’m not sad, because Ash was like a younger brother to me. But I knew, and I’d prepared myself.”

“I hate this,” Yut-Lung mumbles. “He was...I wish... He was brilliant, a peerless mind. But I most wanted to have his courage, I think.”

Blanca skates a hand down Yut-Lung’s naked back. There are many things that Lee Yut-Lung may have wanted in this life, but courage was not something he ever lacked. He presses a kiss to Yut-Lung’s hair. “You wanted his freedom.”

Yut-Lung sits up and stares at Blanca, his eyes dark and fathomless in the evening sunset that slants through cracks in the the shuttered windows. “Yes,” he says, and picks up Blanca’s hand.

Blanca thinks of the snows of New York, of the grand house that Yut-Lung must have left in a hurry, all in the name of unthinkingly racing toward a small island half a world away, desperate to tell Blanca in his own way what had happened, to assure himself of Blanca’s reaction. He abandoned everything and everyone he knew at the drop of a hat, possibly for nothing more than a half an hour in Blanca’s arms, uncaring of the consequences.

He lifts their joined hands to his lips, and mentally starts rearranging space in his small villa for Yut-Lung’s undoubtedly large wardrobe. He thinks of hairpins on his dresser, long dark hair across his pillow. Ash has left him this much, renewed hope in the future and life with a man who had learned Ash’s lessons of freedom and self-determination well.

“Then I think you’ve got it, my darling,” he says, and watches Yut-Lung’s eyes gleam.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Love Me Better by Love Thy Brother.  
> https://youtu.be/wEvGLlo4fLI


End file.
